ERIC A


A direct descendant of a spartan warrior and amazon princess, found in the wild by a pack of wolves and raised by The Most Interesting Man In The World and Chuck Norris' sister, Eric clearly has the pedigree needed to lounge around the gym in athletic wear all day.

Having learned to read at the age of 3 months, Eric became familiar with the story of Milo of Croton, the man who carried a calf on his shoulders every day until it became a full sized cow. This made sense to him but he decided to expand on this idea by jumping from ever greater heights on a daily basis so that now he can free jump any height, even from a plane, without need of a parachute, of course he can also carry the cow.

As he grew older and gained the power of human flight, he realized he should try to share some of his learned skills with other worthy beings. Eric also realized that training to land without a parachute had suddenly become a huge waste of time, but he still uses it to occasionally win bar bets.

Eric's training has helped several athletes break world records in the long jump, where he uses an invisible cloak to hide while he throws his athletes to victory. This worked swimmingly until one of the athletes broad “jumped” over 100 feet. Due to the violence of the throw, Eric's cloak slipped off and he was unfortunately discovered. All 137 gold medals won by his athletes were stripped, but each one of them said they wouldn't trade their experience for the world, despite their many broken bones and bruised internal organs.

Maybe you won't be able to jump from planes without a parachute, or carry cows on your shoulders for as many miles as you please. Maybe you won't even win a gold medal illicitly without the use of performance enhancing drugs. But Eric can ensure you one thing; each client he trains will exit the gym better than when they came in.